First of all, what´s a leader? And second of all, am I a leader? I like to check out the words definition, and here it is:
“Leader/ˈliːdə(r)/
▶noun
• 1 the person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country. "
So, what kind of group, or organization, or country is commanded by me? No one. That means that I´m not a leader? From a strict point of view, and according to the definition, I´m not. But for real, am I a leader? I don´t like to sound optimist, because anybody can. It´s quite simple to say that I am one because the generality of people could respect my point of view and that they take it on count, but that means nothing. The fact that I can see things that others can´t doesn´t mean that I´m one, neither a good one, or not? How can I know if I´m a leader knowing that first of all I can´t lead myself, being a slave of my own person, a slave of my own acts, and maybe the fact that nobody will notice something like the last phrase, turns it ridiculous, but for real, I don´t mind, and maybe that´s the “why?” of my “leadership”. The fact that I express myself as I want when I want, being coherent. Disgracefully I can´t manage that virtue just as I want every time, but I try to, and maybe behind that try is where the leading lies. I think that being a leader is easy, it´s matter of having money, or a position, or fame. There are people that born with those characteristics, and the subordinates give´em the leadership just because of that. I got no money, nor fame, nor position, and I don´t think myself as leader, I´m just a person. But I have heard external references who say that I can even be president of this country, but if people like Vicente Fox or Felipe Calderón achieved that, anybody could… I think I have a trouble among the “leader” and “good leader” concepts. What does the leadership means if it´s a bad one? I think that it represents stupidity. If our country have a bad leader, it represents a stupid democracy, and we all know that democracy means something like “people government” so a bad president implies stupid people. What´s the deal of being a stupid leader of stupid subordinates? A bad leadership implies just bad things at all. And I don’t want that for me. If I say that I´m a leader, which importance it haves? Anybody can. When someone else say that I´m a leader is when it takes real importance, and I have heard it, but I don´t realize me as one, or maybe I do, but why? Or why not? What am I supposed to write in this essay? Something like: “I´m a leader because my mother says.” Or much like “I´m a leader not because I think that I´m one, not because I could be one, but because I know that I´m one, and not just one, I´m the best…”? I really don’t like that motivational senseless stuff, which brings to my mind a bad experience. A puerile congress named “Selider” here in Saltillo where the high school leaders are supposed to be. I was there, and I have to say that it was emetic, maybe because I lost the opportunity of going to a national congress of the same subject matter (which now I think stinks), but mostly because now I know the people that was there, and the majority is just the opposite of the “leader” word, or maybe they are leaders, I don’t know, but what I know is that they are not good ones, because of their tiny prudence, with some respectful exceptions.
I know the aspects in which I´m not a leader. In my classroom, my voice represents anything when I beg for silence. In my house I can´t have my hair cropped because my authorities rather a gay haircut like this, because crop is synonym of “drug addict”. In my city, as in my country, as in my world, I´m not even known by the mean. I have lost all my last basketball games, the important ones. When I execute rapping skills, there are who say, “You didn´t transmitted a thing”. The principal says that I´m a non cause rebel. My classmates said that I make them sick, literally. God´s describe me in Corinthians 6:9-10 and I feel guilty about the eleventh. I can´t manage my own feelings, my actions, my thoughts. My cousin just exclaim “andas mal” if I reveal him my ideas. My grandmother just wants me to take up my pants. My grades are mediocre. I´m afraid of a bad grade in this essay because of my writing style (which I´m proud of) and that makes me feel leadership-less. I have to wait 20 minutes in the line of the cafeteria as anyone does in order to eat the same mediocre lunch of which I can´t do anything but eat. I have didn´t studied neither calculus nor leadership yet and it is 8 o´clock. In that dumb congress I wasn´t the “leader” who represented my city. It turns impossible to me being punctual at the morning. The fact that I know that I´m superior in several areas to some people, does not means that I´m a leader. That makes me selfish, superb and arrogant, and a leader is not like that, right? At least not a good one, I guess. I like to express myself and that´s how I feel now and in the generality of the time, sometimes. I´m conscious that I am not a good human, neither a good leader. But I believe in one who was/is/will be simply perfect, and that redeems me.
Am I a leader? I really don’t think so.
Tarea de esas materias de relleno, sí, en inglés.
Alejandro.
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